I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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