Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
