My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
