My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
