So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
