whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think brook has ever known best
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
