I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
