your thong is hanging out like whoa
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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