I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
