Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Actions speak louder than pants.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
