no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
