What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize