I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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