apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
