Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
