Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
