im drinking this country out of the recession.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
