I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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