I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
