Jerry, you need to find god
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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