Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We just shotgunned beers for America
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
