everyone is single if you try hard enough
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
