He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize