If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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