i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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