I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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