I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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