We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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