we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize