I'm passing your future prison.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
