you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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