I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have feelings that need drinking.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
