How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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