I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
