I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
