I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
