no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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