Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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