I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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