It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
