Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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