I'm so fucking centered right now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
How naked do you want me to be?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
