PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
