its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
