FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
