That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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