I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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