I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
