so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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