No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
