Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Your tits are I can't wait for
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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