omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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