why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Im part way to drunk.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
