is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
