I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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