idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
