He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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